Many couples run into seemingly impassable obstacles at one time or another, especially in the area of compromise. This occurs most frequently early in marriages when couples are just getting to know each other's values and opinions on things they may have not discussed or encountered before they got married. However, unforeseen issues can be encountered at any stage of the relationship.
Avoidance of issues and internalization of true feelings and opinions may be done by one or both members of the relationship in an effort to "keep the peace". However, this only leads to future conflicts and frustrations. In such cases a dominate personality in the other partner may emerge, further fueling a maladaptive, non-productive cycle.
Many relationships learn to compromise through acknowledgement and validation of the other partner's feelings and views, and development of a compromise-based resolution. Sometimes, however, a couple needs outside help reaching these goals.
Pre-marital counseling is a good tool to help reduce such occurences, however, choosing to get help through counseling at any stage in a relationship is an important step towards empowering the relationship and each other. Learning to compromise in decisions, and blend values and opinions can seem very challenging. However, the reward of getting past those obstacles and developing plans to cope with future obstacles as a team, is worth the challenge and empowers every area of the relationship.
Communication is the key. Once both people have developed techniques on communicating better, they will find compromise much easier and everything else will fall into place. Taking the first step by seeking help through pre-marital, or marital counseling reflects the couple has a desire to fight for their relationship and this is a very good sign.
If you are interested in receiving pre-marital or marital counseling, you can go online to make an appointment at:
or call John at 919 576-9146
I look forward to hearing from you.
With warm regards,
John M. Swails M.S., LMFTA
Psychotherapist / Marriage and Family Counselor